Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!

Aidan,

Today was the first time this season that it snowed! When you woke up this morning, I asked you to go look out the window to see. You went all groggy-eyed, opened the curtain, and boy did your eyes light up. You said, "It No-d!". Then you proceeded to tell me that you were going to go put your shoes on so you can go outside to play in it. It took a bit of convincing you talk you out of it, and that we would go outside after nap (since it was still snowing, and blowing pretty hard). Daddy stayed home from work this morning due to the roads being closed. He then left about lunchtime to head off to work.

So I set my alarm to wake you up at 4:30pm from nap. I told you that would be when we can go outside for a little bit, then we would need to get started on dinner. Oh, you didn't even wait until the alarm went off. In fact, you woke up about 10 minutes before. It was almost as if you knew the excitement to come. So we got up, got dressed all warm, and headed outside. Boy was it cold! You started getting snowballs and tossing them into the driveway to watch them break apart. Mommy had to shovel the driveway while you played, but you did just fine on your own. You brought out your little red firetruck and proceeded to take it into the yard. You said something about running out of flowers (not sure what that was about), and you needed to go next door to find more.

While I was making dinner with daddy, you asked what we were having. I said, "we are having chicken". And guess what, you said "I LoVe Chicken!!" all excited. You are such a little oddball, but I love you for your little personality.

We have big plans for this weekend. We are headed back to Topeka tomorrow for funeral services for your Uncle Jeff. We will be gone all weekend. I know you don't understand any of this right now, but one day, I hope you ask about him.

Christmas is coming up very soon. You are stoked about it. You keep wanting to open presents, but I keep telling you that you have to wait until Christmas day. You always say, "We have to wait until Santa comes, then we can open all the presents!". I know you will have a good holiday this year, because you have so many people who love you so much.

With all my love,

Mommy

Tragic Endings

My Dearest Aidan,

These past few days have been the hardest to deal with. I am sometimes thankful that you are so young and innocent that you have a hard time understanding the world around you. I want to shield you from all the hurt and shame that this world has to face. First of all, on Friday, December 14th, there was a tragic shooting at an elementary school in a small town of Connecticut. Mommy was having surgery that morning to have her gallbladder removed, and while in recovery, I saw it on the news. It breaks my heart because 20 children lost their lives, as well as 8 adults. It makes me sad because you are so young, and now I am scared to send you off to school in a few years. I am sad because these kids won't get to see Christmas. This is supposed to be a time for celebration and happiness, not fear and heartbreak.

While mommy was in the hospital, you were so worried about me. I had to stay for a little while to recover, and when daddy tried to take you home after lunch to take a nap, you refused. He said you cried all the way home, and that you wanted your mommy. That made me so sad, but I knew you were in good hands. Plus, you would eventually come back to see me.

On Saturday, December 15th, mommy went down to your Aunt Jenny and Uncle Chris's house to make cookies with Grandma. I was only there for a little while before you and daddy came to pick me up to go to the Christmas party that afternoon. I missed you so much while you were gone. And I didn't really get to see you again until Sunday night when we got home after making all sorts of delicious cookies and candies. Oh little one, you make my heart so happy.

Sunday was a tragic day. I know you are too young to understand this either, but I want you to remember someone. Your Godfather, Jeff, was a police officer who was shot and killed while on duty Sunday night. Jeff had always wanted to be a police office since he was a little boy in 2nd grade. It was his dream. Daddy and Jeff were best friends, and Jeff was Daddy's best man at our wedding. Daddy has known Jeff since he was in 1st grade, and they have grown up together all throughout school. Daddy and I decided to have you baptised when you were just shy of 3 months old, and we picked Jeff as your Godfather because he is such a good man and a good role model. We wanted you to have someone who would be an inspiration on your life. Jeff has a little boy who is just 1 week younger than you, and I hope that you will still get to see him growing up. It would be really neat if you two would end up being best friends someday too, although we wouldn't pick your friends for you. Aidan, I know you are still a young child who doesn't know the things that happen in this world, but someday, you will understand. I want you to always remember that you had an "Uncle" Jeff, because he was a brother to your daddy, and we want to make sure we keep his memory alive in our hearts forever. Daddy and I believe that Jeff will be watching over all of us from Heaven above.

When we lose someone we love

We learn to trust somehow

That a new life in a brighter place

Is just beginning now

A place of grace and peace and joy

Beyond all time and sorrow

Where loving hearts who part today

Will meet again tomorrow

-unknown-

 

With all my love,

 

Mommy



 

**RIP Jeff**

1983-2012

Numbers...

2.0 - that's the number of miles I am able to run (without stopping!)

5.5 - is the speed at which I am able to run at comfortably (11:00 min/mile pace)

2 - the number of 5K races I have participated in

45 - the minutes it took to finish the Color Run on July 1st.

34 - the minutes it took to finish the Koman Race on Aug 12th.

11.2 - amount of weight I have lost in 6 weeks (in lbs)

6 - number of inches I have lost total (since beginning of August)

I am so thankful to have such a supportive husband who is helping me through this journey (again) of getting healthy. I have set goals, and with the motivation, I truely believe that I can make them achievable. I hope to participate in more 5K runs, and eventually run the entire thing.

Today people from work actually started noticing my weight loss. It was really exciting and made me proud of myself for sticking to it. I know this is short, but it's mainly just stats right now. I must keep tracking along...

Weekly Wrap Up

Wow, I can't believe it's been 2 months since I've written a new post (sorry!). But nothing much has changed in my life that was worth writing about, well, until now :)

~ Aidan got a hair cut this weekend. I have been avoiding it for so long, and it got pretty long (almost 2 months since the last one). He always throws a fit and cries every time he gets it cut. Well, this time was much different. I scheduled it on a Saturday so that his dad can be there too. Apparently, that was the trick. He was so good, it made me want to cry. And, his hair looks so cute. He is looking all grown up :( I can't believe he is pushing 3 years old.

~ Over the last 2 weeks, I've been picking up my working out and eating better habits again. I restarted my couch to 5K program, and currently are at the beginning of week 3. I weighed in this morning, and currently I have lost 9.8 lbs since the beginning of this year. Now that I have been working out again, I have lost about 5 lbs in the past month. My motivation is coming back, and my energy is better. I just hope that I can keep it up, since I am training for my first 5K on July 1st. Can't wait!

~ Our puppy, Dylan, is getting so big. I knew he would, but I can't believe it's happening so fast. We take him to the vet next weekend to get his 12 week shots, so we will see how much he weighs then. He's adjusting so well here at home. Aidan just adores him. And we all really love him. Potty training is going well too. I can't wait to see how big he has gotten next week.

~ I am so in love with the Nook Color. I really, really, really want one so bad. The one I want is a 16 GB for $249, plus $49.99 for the 2 year extended warrenty (trust me, in this house, I would need it). I am trying to save up for one so I can take it on our vacation this June.

~ I also want the new iPhone 4S, but that will have to wait until I am eligible for an upgrade this fall/winter. My hubby gets a new phone first, since he can't seem to keep one for longer than 3 months at a time...

~ I hate having easter candy in the house....it's so hard not to nibble.

Ok, so that wasn't much for a weekly wrap up, but it's just my thoughts for the moment. It's getting late and I have to put the little one to bed, plus working the next 3 days (boo). I will do my best to not make it so long before writing a new post.

Needing some Motivation

Yeah, I jumped on the health wagon back in January. Not necessarily for a New Years resolution or anything, but more for myself. I joined 24 hour fitness and started planning my calorie intake again. It was working for a while, but then about 3 weeks ago, I became sick with the flu. Since then, I haven't made one effort to get to the gym, or workout, or eat healthy. My weight has fluctuated within a few pounds, but overal has been steady. But, I am needing to get back into shape!

My problem is I can't find the time to go to the gym. I would go after work, but I have Aidan, and first I would have to drop him off at home, but once I get home, I don't want to go back out. Then, there is after dinner on my off days. I used to do this before, and it seemed to be working, but right now, I just can't get myself going after dinner. Another option would be to go before Derek goes to work. This means getting up at 5am and be home by 7am. I've considered this, but really don't want to do it. I mean, c'mon, I already get up at 5am when I have to work, I really don't want to get up that early on my days off. So when should I work out? I feel like I'm at a dead end. I need to take advantage of my gym membership, but in the same sense, feels like it is more of an inconvenience to get out.

So my goal for this week is to jump back on the fitness kick. I plan on going to the gym this weekend in the morning, be off for Monday and Tuesday (since I work), then go after dinner Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. If I can stick to that, I should be okay with continuing, as I think my body will become used to it again. I guess we will wait and see.

Working Moms vs Stay at Home Moms

First of all, this is not a rant regarding which is better. I just want to make that clear. But, I must say, I am a little bit frustrated and disappointed by what people perceive of working moms and stay at home moms. I was reading Bethanne's blog on babble.com  where I found some really harsh, even hostile, comments regarding her decision to be a work from home mom, and hiring her sister as a live in nanny for her 2 year old son. People were saying that she was lazy, that if she needed a nanny she shouldn't be a mom, and other harsh comments. This got me all worked up, as I am a working mom.

So what is right? There really isn't a right answer to this. I never thought that I shouldn't have kids because I wanted or needed to work. And that I need to use a daycare center to care for my son while I am at work. Granted, I am lucky that I work at a hospital that provides daycare on site. So my son is always close by if something were to happen (not to mention, that there is a hospital right there if he were to get seriously hurt). Stay at home moms were commenting that because some moms work, then we are not being fully engaged in our child's upbringing. Why is this the case? Yes, I am away from Aidan 3 days a week for 12+ hours a day. But I get to see him in the morning, tuck him into bed at night, and spend 4 days a week together on my days off. Most weeks, I just work 2 days, then the weekend, where he gets to spend time with his daddy. Does that make me a bad mom? No, I think not.

Just because I work, does not mean Aidan is not getting the attention he deserves. He knows exactly who is mommy and daddy are. He loves his daycare class, and has made friends there. I have noticed his socialization skills have improved, as well as language and development just by going to 'school' a couple days a week. Staying at home all day, everyday, would keep him from doing that, as there would be little to no interaction with others, especially kids his age.

Also, why is it that its only the moms who get judged? What about the dads? Most dads are at work 5 days a week for 40+ hours. Do people judge them? No. And why that is? Well, because people still think that is the golden way to do things. Yeah, maybe back in the 1950s. It's 2012 guys! It's tough living on 1 income, especially with the lifestyles people want to live. My husband works 5 days a week, and Aidan doesn't feel as if he has any less of a father than if he were home 24/7. And that is no different with me. We enjoy our time together. I almost think I would get bored if I stayed home all day.

So my take on the stay at home mom thing, if we could afford it, I would totally do it. But we can't, and that's reality. I love living in a nice home, driving nice cars, and going out shopping and eating. I don't do well being cooped up all day every day, regardless if I had 1 child or 4. I don't think it would make a difference to me.

Now for working moms, I love it. I get to earn an exceptional income that allows me to have the lifestyle I want, and get to be a mom to Aidan all at the same time. I am very lucky to be a nurse. I only have to work 3 12 hour shift a week, which is almost like a part-time job but not. Aidan gets to socialize in daycare a couple days a week, which enhances his development, and he loves learning new things. Then I get 4 days of being a 'stay at home mom'. On my days off, me and Aidan sometimes go grocery shopping, take a mommy and me lunch date, or just sit around and do nothing. When his daddy gets home, they play for a while until its bedtime. This works for us. I don't think I would have it any other way.

So for all you working moms, kudos to you. You deserve a medal for what you do. For you stay at home moms, as long as it works for you, great. I can't really say any more than that, as I don't have a full perception on things. But please, don't judge the other when you have no idea what really happens in each family. Everyone finds what works best for them, and that's all that matters. It's not fair to say that stay at home moms are lazy because they don't work. They do! And its not fair to say that working moms are not engaged, because we are!!! And if you have to have a live in nanny to get things done, whether it be work or just for help, that should be fine as well. Don't judge a book by its cover. That's all I have to say about that. :-)